Personal Growth Principles
Based on: Stephen Covey’s book: Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Self-Awareness
We can stand back and observe our thoughts and feelings, think about them and change them if we want to. A new belief can change everything. To become more self-aware, take a look at your language and what you spend your time doing. Look from the Inside-Out. Paradigms. It is what Michael Jackson said in his lyrics for Man in the Mirror where he says “If you wanna make the world a better place, Take a look at yourself and then make a change.” As the Bible says at Matthew 7:5 says “Stop judging…Why, then, do you look at the straw in your brother’s eye but do not notice the rafter in your own eye?…First remove the rafter from your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to remove the straw from your brother’s eye.”
Character Ethic
There are fundamental principles of effective living. Since the Second World War much of the self-help literature has been based on the Personality Ethic, instead of the previous Character Ethic. The Character Ethic’s foundation of success is based on integrity, trust, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, love and the Golden Rule. The Personality Ethic focuses on getting along and being liked by others with the emphasis on public image, attitudes, behaviours, skills and techniques, playing the game, smiling, positive mental attitude, influence techniques and communication skills. Personality is fine, however it might be insincere, manipulative lacking in any real level of trust, or promising wealth without hard work. Beware that much of the self-help materials of late put the emphasis on “self improvement”, as though teamwork, cooperation and communication were of lesser value. They’re not.
Inside-Out Paradigm
Start with yourself, with your innermost needs, character and motives, emotional state, vibration, inclination. Outside-In – The outside-in approach is about blaming others. As the song Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson says: “If you want to make the world a better place, Take a look at yourself, and then make a change, I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways.”
Perception
Two major types: they way things are and the way things should be. Our perceptions are limited and bias and have been affected by conditioning, genes & life experiences. A new belief can change our perception of the situation (“change course 20 degrees” says the lighthouse). Thought -> Action -> Habbit -> Character -> Results. To create a long-term useful habbit you must have Mind (what & why), Heart (desire) & Hands (skills). Principles are not values. Values can be in violation of principles. Principles are the reality of the territory, whereas values are the maps we choose to use to navigate the territory. Align your values to fit with principles to be successful in the long term.
Principles
– Principles are universal rules, laws, fundamental truths and guidelines for conduct. Principles are bigger than people and circumstances. Principles are not practices, activities or actions. For a principle to be true, it must apply in every single sitation. Practices only apply in some situations.
There are many principles. The Principle of Time and Process – Things take time to grow and develop and require the right ingedients at the right time. The Production/Production Capacity (P/PC) principle. Goose that laid the Golden Egg. Too much focus on results leads to burn-out and too much focus on the goose results in a lack of results. It’s a balance. Humans all have an inner sense of principles such as: Fairness, Honesty, Integrity, Dignity, Service, Potential, Excellence/Quality.
Conclusion – We need a paradigm (way of viewing) based on accurate principles (universal laws) that is centered on those principles, character-based and inside-out. Before starting Covey’s 8 Habits, try starting with Love.
Love
Have love of yourself and others. Start with appreciation. People love appreciative people, so always be appreciative of what you have. Character-based loving principles. Goodness. Self-Awareness. Cognitive. Meditate on positive thoughts about yourself, others and the potential all around us. Avoid personal character attacks on others and also on yourself through negative self-talk. Focus on goodness, kindness, hospitality, fairness, peace, self control, delaying gratification, patience, faith, hope and love.
Habits
Private victories preceed public victories. The first 3 Habits are private and the next 3 are public. The first three take you from dependence (You) to Independece (I) and the next 3 take you from Independence (I) to Interdependence (Us/We). Habits 1 and 2 must preceed Habit 3. A habit can be formed with Knowledge, Skills and Desire. Effectiveness is the efficient and sustainable production of results that are based on Principles (reality).
The 7 Habbits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey.
- Be Proactive (do the right thing)
- Begin with the End in Mind (vision, mission)
- First Things First (prioritize, urgency and importance)
- Think Win Win
- Seek First to Understand then be Understood
- Synergize
- Sharpen the Saw
1. Be Proactive
Stop, and stand in the gap between stimulus and response and feel the power of choice. Free will. Subordinate feelings to values based on principles. Not fatalistic, free will, choice, imagination and conscience. Doing is part of our basic nature. For example, love is a verb not just a feeling. Resourcefulness and Initiative. Ask what is my circle of Influence? Work on your circle of influence, not your circle of concern. You choose actions, but you cannot choose the consequences of your actions. Make small commitments and keep them. Be solution-oriented.
2. Begin with the End in Mind
Create a positive vision. Mission Statement. Roles. Create Goals and Objectives toward that vision. Write goals down. Speak powerful words. Get excited. Be emotional when creating your vision. Continue to gain more knowledge of yourself and how life works. Your reactions to situations can be governed by your values, not your feelings.
3. First Things First
Put your hopes and dreams into action. Believe that they can be made true. Manage time so that results can occur. Manage your schedule. Recognize opportunities when they present themselves. Positive, loving hopeful thoughts and feelsings will naturally draw you into these opportunities. Time management. Urgent and Important. Roles, Goals, Plans, Schedule (and delegate).
Interdependent
Based on the first three internal items, the next items follow. As we become independent – proactive, centered in correct principles, value driven and able to arrange and execute around the priorities in our life with integrity – we then can choose to focus more on being interdependent. Build relationships based on the principle of justice and fairness so they are long-lasting relationships based on trust. Accept gifts thankfully. If later you find you can’t use the gift, give to someone else. “The fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23). For success in 4, 5 and 6 you need emotion and a strong sense of internal security that comes from within, that comes from accurate paradigms and living each day our innermost character values, two of which must be Love and Service.
4. Think Win/Win
Character is the foundation for Win/Win: Integrity (self-worth), Maturity (balance between courage and consideration) and Abundance mentality (plenty, not a zero-sum game). Negotiate based on a win-win scenario. Give and take. Understand from various viewpoints. Build trust. Discuss everyone’s roles and goals.
5. Understanding and Empathy
Needed for effective interpersonal communication. Listen to others with the intent to understand, not to merely reply. Be swift about listening and slow about speaking. Diagnose before you Prescribe.
6. Synergy/Creative Cooperation/Unity
The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Team Building. Power. Groups. Leadership. Inspiration. Sharing the Vision. Motivating Others. Opening your mind and heart to the New. Place value and respect on differences, build on strengths, compensate for weaknesses.
7. Sharpen the Saw
Take time (schedule time and do it) for the PC side of the P/PC balance. You can use PIESS. P (exercise, nutrition, stress management), I (reading, visualizing, planning, writing), ES (service, empathy, synergy) S (values, study, prayer, meditation).