Here is a good TED talk on ways you can increase the chances of getting what you want. When you hear a road block or a gatekeeper preventing you from getting what you want, consider the advice in this TED talk by Janine Driver.

The TED talk is called How Five Simple Words Can Get You What You Want | Janine Driver | TEDxHardingU.

Janine created a sentence to help us remember the main point of her talk. It is Decided-LY because changes what was. The three words are decided, the LY words and because. The LY words include normally, usually, typically, basically and ordinarily. When someone says that they have decided to do something, it does not mean that they actually did it. They only decided that that they should do it. They might change their mind. Listen for these words when people speak to you.

In her talk she mentions the three stages of decision making. They are research, reason and result. In consumer behaviour, the research stage is reading a flyer, searching online or reading labels, brand names and prices right in the store. It’s gathering information. The reasoning is the processing of that information. It’s asking ourselves what we value, or what’s important. Here’s where we begin to make decisions on what we want to purchase. There are trade-offs and evaluations. The result is the purchase itself and you are walking out of the store. The decision has been made.

Decided-LY because lives inside the second stage of reasoning. This is the really interesting part.

When you hear the LY words (normally, typically etc.) stop and think. This is still an opportunity to challenge the status quo. Ask for it anyway.

Ask yourself, “If I don’t fight for what I want right now, is that going to affect someone else in my life?”. If so, you will become more apt to push harder for what you want if you remember this fact.

To be persuasive, use the word because. Provide a bunch of reasons why you need what you are after. Remember that the words decided and the LY words leave that door of opportunity open. Know the reasons why you case is different than the others and be prepared to explain why. This is similar to Michael E. Porter’s Competitive Advantage.